we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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