Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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