He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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