she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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