There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Randomize
