I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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