O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize