I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
