I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
