So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I faked an abortion last night.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize