Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
