i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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