sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You're a waste of cheezeits
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
