Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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