in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
