2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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