Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize