she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Blow job season was short but glorious.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
