remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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