no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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