hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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