Who did Billy Mays play for?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
this hospital has no fireball
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize