Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We are two peas in an std pod
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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