im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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