I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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