..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
