therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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