just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Congratulations! We have a period
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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