I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
