if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
