I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
