i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He? As in you personified your dick?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Randomize
