my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep