Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm at about main and main street
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.