I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
