I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
