You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
