he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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