I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
