3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
