Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Randomize
