i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
