New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
