Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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