The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
