fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
