Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Randomize
