i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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