Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
