Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize