Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
