the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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