He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
