you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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