Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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