theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
