We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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