her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
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