Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
