Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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