it's not cheating when I paid for it
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
