I'll bet she douches with gravy.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
