I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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